


Whisper of the Wind

by Mysterie



Category: Phantasy Star Online 2
Genre: F/M, a response to a one-piece, shadow of what was
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:26:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29397633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysterie/pseuds/Mysterie
Summary: This is a companion piece to "Can You Hear Me?" by House_Arotrin.  Which is originally a different view and companion piece to the final chapter & epilogue of "Phantasy Star: Exodus" - by both me & House_Arotrin
Relationships: Kaori & Guardian, Wil & Guardian, Wil/Kaori





	Whisper of the Wind

**Author's Note:**

> Song accompanying this piece: Not a Moment Too Soon by Tim McGraw

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'I was standing at the end of my rainbow' 

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Kaori stood on the balcony, looking out at the ocean. She was going to be expecting a child soon... but she couldn't help but feel that it was not what it should be. She had felt a guilt since the last conversation she had with the Guardian... the one who truly owned the feelings she felt, who should be here now. This child should have been hers... not Kaori's... but the Guardian had chosen to let go. Kaori had not been Kaori then, but she had pretended to be and had done what she thought was best to make sure that the Guardian did what she was supposed to. However... it had backfired in a way Kaori could not have foreseen. She had never meant for the Guardian to sacrifice their life and love to her... 

Not for the first time since everything, Kaori slammed a fist on the rail. No one was around. It didn't matter. No one was around to see her get angry and frustrated. Hot tears fell from her face.

"Why did you do this to me? Why did you give up? This was supposed to be your life! I... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to do this! You idiot... you were supposed to... to be here... not give it up to me! We were supposed to be the best! The strongest! You were supposed to be angry with me! To be... to toss me aside! You weren't supposed to die! Don't you know it broke his heart? He loved you... and... I'm just a replacement..." She sobbed, angry at a ghost that seemed beyond her reach. There was no real evidence the Guardian had really even existed except in records and the memories of those who had known her. 

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'In my darkest hour, with my world filled with blue'

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Kaori walked through the garden. She felt spent, but still she felt she needed to be out here to keep healthy. The life she carried didn't need to suffer just because she was upset over something that couldn't be changed. Time itself couldn't reach the Guardian now. She had moved past time and space to free them from the danger of The Profound Darkness. It had cost the Guardian everything to do so... there was a sort of solemnness to ARKS now. What was left of them anyway. ARKS had been made to combat the falspawn and The Profound Darkness, but with The Profound Darkness and Shiva gone forever, the falspawn were falling in numbers rapidly and were not able to reproduce fast enough now to keep their numbers up. It had been only about a year since the incident and reports of falspawn were now almost non-existent. They were being wiped out of existence, soon there would be no real need for ARKS. 

It didn't matter to her. She had long since retired her weapons since becoming pregnant. The two of them had agreed that - regardless of gender - they were going to name the child after the Guardian who had given everything there was to give to protect them all. 

It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. Kaori knew this with all she was... that her photons and everything she was didn't belong to her... but to the Guardian who had given it up in the very end to allow her to live here... to have a second chance at life and happiness. It tore at her though that she had been unable to push the Guardian down the proper path... the Guardian was supposed to win the fight and come back, not ... not be a sacrificial lamb.

It was in the middle of the garden she noticed something strange. What was that? She moved over to the large tree that cast a shadow in the same spot every day. Something was growing in the shade where she was sure that nothing could grow next to tree. It was a flower. She knelt next to it and reached out, but paused before she touched the drooping white petals of the flower that looked like it was struggling to grow. It wasn't, this flower was meant to be bent like this sort of like a street lamp... A snowdrop. 

"This... should be impossible. This flower only grows in the cold..." Kaori muttered. The castle was in the north eastern part of Earth's North America, secluded, but not far enough north for this flower to just pop up in the middle of spring... She reached out and touched the flower and felt an instant connection. The flower itself was being sustained by photons, not her own and not that of her husband but... 

"Is this really the form you chose? A flower? Heh... how like you. You really were a pacifist all along... and you chose to be a flower now because there was nothing else that you loved more that was peaceful than this. I still disagree with what you decided you know? It should have been you carrying this child, not me." There was no response, no verbal one anyway, but she could sense the photons shifting in the flora. 

"Oh don't worry, I won't tell him you're a flower. It wouldn't help and I bet you heard everything I said huh?" No response.

"You really are an idiot. He loves you so much you know? What I am is a shadow of you... his feelings for me are just an echo of that. It's nothing to what he feels for you even now. You were everything for him even though you were a couple of strangers just passing each other in a ship of thousands upon thousands of ARKS... speaking of, did you know that ARKS is going to be disband soon? Yeah... Xiao said that when the last of the falspawn are gone there won't be any reason for ARKS anymore. Not that it affects us. We have the company after all and Melodies is making instruments again instead of weapons. It's come full circle... just like you planned it to. Just like you wished." A moment of silence.

"We're going to name the kid after you. Not me or the name you gave me... or the name you took on. Your real name. We won't forget you and we won't let you be forgotten. Matoi has talked with me on and off. She thinks I'm you... or rather, the friend she knew before you came here. She thinks that I 'came back' after you left. She still talks about you every now and then though, about how hard you worked and how she hoped you were happy wherever you were. I didn't have the heart to tell her that you were dead. That you didn't survive going back to your world. That you were dead in that world and thus would lose your life in going back because your soul had no body to go back to once you crossed there and the photonic body was lost... or what remained of it after you gave me so much so I could have a body of my own again." She drew back her hand from the flower.

"I'd say that I hope you were happy with your choice, but I know how hard it was for you. You made it because you thought he didn't love you. Because you thought that you weren't deserving of happiness... of life... in the end... you let your doubts and sorrow drown out the light that you had. What a waste... you know the others - if they were here - would say that and how much of an idiot that you were for doing that. You should be here. You should be the one enjoying this life, having kids, feeling the warmth of this sun... not left in the shadow of a tree in the middle of a garden. Guess what I think about that doesn't matter anymore though, does it? It's going to be a while before I stop hating that you chose to die. That you shoved me at him like that because you refused to see that you had a chance... that there was still something to lose. I guess you can watch the future unfold then... maybe, I don't know how long this flower you will live. It shouldn't hurt... but it does. Damn it. I miss you. I wanted you here. Even if it meant I would leave with the others. I never thought I'd miss them, but I do." She sighed. 

"But this is life, I guess... and I'll raise 'em like you wanted me to... I will give Wil the love he deserves, that he wanted from you even if he will never see it that way. Wishes are like trying to touch stars though. That's life. Well... I'll see you later then. I'm due for a nap for the little one. I'll be sure they don't uproot you or anything though after they're born." Kaori pushed herself back up into a standing position and made her way back towards the castle's door that led from the garden to one of the many rooms.

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'All my wishes were just way too much to hope for'

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End file.
